The following 10 question quiz will give you a variety of options in a certain situation. Choose the one that you would be most likely to do in a given situation. Keep tally of your answers and find out what type of man you really are…
1.You are stranded on a deserted island. You..
A. Dust off your blazer, smoke your pipe, and befriend a monkey to be your loyal shoulder companion.
B. Start a fire, make a hut, and at the end of the week have a makeshift yacht built out of palm tree’s and elbow grease.
C. You attach yourself to two sea turtles with your beard hair and make them take you back to civilization.
D. You build a small home out of bamboo and throw a get together, inviting over some of the indigenous women.
E. You start to lose your mind and befriend a volleyball.
2. You’re at a vehicle auction. You…
A. Go for the Rolls with elephant leather interior.
B. Get yourself a nice raised truck.
C. Buy a fucking dune buggy.
D. Purchase a Porsche, and get the female auctioneer’s phone number in the process.
E. Buy a hybrid/electric car. Or Chevy of any kind.
3. you have a free day with not much to do. It’s raining outside so you…
A. Sit by the fire reading leather bound books and drinking some of the finest scotch money can by, all whilst sitting in a room that smells of rich mahogany.
B. Use the day to advance your carpentry skills, by carving a jaguar out of solid wood. And get done your entire to do list.
C. Watch the Persian ships get destroyed in the sea with 299 of your closest friends. You being the only one to keep your Spartan reserve.
D. Spend the day various ways improving your appearance, but spend the evening in front of the fire, lying of the floor with someone “special” (at least you tell them that they are).
E. Watch “Singing in the Rain.”
4. you often listen to…
A. Classical and Jazz music.
B. Country, classic rock, or John Cougar Mellencamp.
C. Whatever will help you blend in with the locals of the country your current operation has you in.
D. Booty Jams 2, Slow Jams 4
E. Justin Beiber (a.k.a. that little girl on beaver tranquilizers).
5. You are taking a trip home and your plane unexpectedly starts plummeting towards earth. You…
A. Have expert pilots flying your private jet and the problem is soon corrected.
B. Use a combination of inflatable rafts and the remaining parachutes to evacuate everyone off the plane safely before it crashes.
C. Take control of the flight, landing it in a river, saving everyone with only minor damage to the plane.
D. Help make sure the flight attendant doesn’t go out of this world a virgin.
E. Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye!
6. In the bar, you drink…
A. Top shelf scotch, bourbon, or Whiskey.
B. Beer, like “the beast” (Milwaukee’s Best) or Budweiser.
C. Three parts Gordon’s gin, one part vodka, and half part Kina Lillet. Shaken over ice until cold, served in a cocktail glass with a slice of lemon peel for garnish.
D. Whatever the cute bartender is having.
7. Some of your Free time activities are…
A. Enjoying fine cigars, reading good literature, and making business mergers.
B. Fixing things, outdoor activities, and building things.
C. Parkor, bull fighting, rock climbing, and doing anything people say CAN’T be done.
D. Going to events, buying new suits, and planning schemes that will be legend….ary!
E. Gardening, putting up pictures of puppies on tumblr, and going to Taylor Swift concerts.
8. You get a gash in your arm, and you…
A. Get your personal physician to make a house call.
B. Put some superglue in it and get back to what you were doing.
C. Stitch it closed yourself using a fish hook and fishing line you had in your pocket while hunting a river monster.
D. Call up your “Nurse” friend.
E. Cry about it.
9. Your favorite building material is…
A. Building? You’ve read numerous books on architecture, but you’ve never built something.
B. Wood, or different metals.
D. Bra’s. (They’re great for decorations too)
E. Paper, lace, ribbon, and the herpes of the craft world… Glitter.
10. If you had a dog it would be,
A. Boston Mastiff
B. Labrador, or dalmatian.
C. A tiger. People can get past a dog, but nobody messes with a tiger.
D. Puppies, and only for a day at a time for the sole purpose of looking cute while around women.
E. Chiwawa, or any dog under 20 lbs.
Now count up how many questions you answered with an A, B, C, D, and E. If you answered mostly..
A. You’re a Classy Man
B. You’re a Workin Man
C. You’re a Badass Man
D. You’re a Ladies Man
But, if you answered mostly E, you’re not a man! You’re a woman. You better read up on this blog if you want a snowball’s chance in hell of ever getting your man card back.
The Classy Man: This man takes pride in the finer things in life. Good Scotch, literature, and intelligent conversation are all a part of his repertoirerepetua. His vocabulary includes words like indeed, quite right, indubitably, and he calls other men by sir, or gentleman. You don’t have to be rich to be classy, just gentlemanly and articulate. Also works well with facial hair and a pipe.
Examples: Ron Burgundy
The Workin Man: is someone who’s not afraid to roll up their sleeves and get a little dirty. Common styles are Dickies or Carhart pants, a work shirt with numerous stains (sleeves optional), a trucker hat and boots. This dude knows the value of working hard and partying harder.
Examples: Smokey from ‘Smokey and the Bandit’
Jason Stathom in ‘The Mechanic’
Country singers, Toby Keith to name one
The Badass Man: is someone who is all around badass. You think you’re crazy? He’s Crazier. He was popin wheelies on his tricycle since he was like 8. Now he fights bears with his bare hands, kills two birds with one stone, and spies on foreign dictators. Everything. Bad. Ass.
Examples: Chuck Norris
The most interesting man in the world
The Ladies Man: is the type of guy who picks up all the chicks. His phone has more female contacts in it than a gynecologist’s does. His female companions bring this man joy just as fixing a car would for the working man, or running form a bull would for the bad ass man. Best wing man, worst man to invite to your wedding, but all around usually not a bad guy.
Examples: Barney Stinsen
If you read these different categories of men and say, “Hey, that’s me! Or wait, that’s me too!” That’s good! Just like a good breast, you should be well rounded. Or like your fantasy lineup, you gotta have depth! Be all the man you can be!